Errol Allen

I was a carer for my wife for most of my life. She had a brain tumour and COPD, which is a lung disease, so she needed a lot of looking after. She died last year and I miss her every day. We gave it our best shot though; we spent our lives going back and forth to hospitals in London getting her treatment.

I’ve been a dealer in the past to pay for bills and stuff, but it was 18 years ago that I started taking them myself. My wife had a brain haemorrhage and it was so stressful, I just cracked. I got myself together after a while; I remember thinking ‘if you kill yourself, who’s going to look after her?”

Things got bad again when my wife died last year and I lost it. I was arrested for smoking cannabis openly on the streets – such a silly thing but sometimes you get to a point in your life where you just don’t care what happens to you anymore. I ended up getting 12 months’ probation for that.

Coming to CRI was a huge wakeup call. I went through treatment and after that I loved it here so much I just never left! Now I volunteer with CRI four days a week, running the Gardening Club on a Monday and helping to run the Peer Mentor sessions during the rest of the week. I also go out proactively to chat to people who are sleeping rough - just let them know we’re here.

It’s funny because I used to be quite well known on the streets. When people I used to hang out with come in to the service they’re so chuffed to see me! I say to them “look, I’m no better than you, if I can do it so can you.” I’ve had four people who I know personally decide to start treatment and who are now turning their lives around.

I feel so much better within myself now, I feel like I have a purpose. Before she died, my wife made me promise that I would change my lifestyle. Now I wake up every morning with a big smile on my face, because I know she’s looking down on me thinking ‘you did it!’

Have you been affected by any of the issues in Errol’s story?

Carers UK is a national charity providing advice and support to unpaid carers

Macmillan Cancer Support has help and an online community for those living with cancer, as well as their carers, friends and family.

The British Lung Foundation provides advice for people with lung conditions, and their loved ones.