Oliver

"For many years I was a ‘functioning alcoholic’, with a wife and family and various business interests. Then, about a year ago, my excessive drinking spiralled out of control and I left my wife to focus on drinking without any interference. At that time, alcohol was my top priority – it came above my family, my health, my business and everything else.

"One night, my drink-fuelled existence thankfully reached its inevitable conclusion when I ended up in a police cell. As I struggled to sleep, trying to deal with the shame of where I’d finally ended up, I heard the voice of my late father who asked me in no uncertain terms, what the hell I was doing with my life, and told me to pull myself together, accept my responsibilities and stop blaming everyone else for my problems. This experience was very real and emotional for me and his words were all the more powerful because I could only listen and not answer back! In short, in that police cell I had finally reached my tipping point.

"I returned home to my long-suffering wife who told me that our marriage only stood a chance if I was prepared to face up to the consequences of my ‘out of control’ drinking. My GP introduced me to CRI and I started going to weekly alcohol support meetings at Bromley Recovery Service. I did a two week ambulatory detox and was then ready to join the recovery aftercare groups at Bromley. These groups were mainly run by people who had trod their own path of addictive behaviour. Their empathy and the genuinely non-judgemental environment made it much easier for me to communicate sometimes very painful and personal issues.

"I soon adopted the Bromley Recovery Service as my second home. But I realised that detox was only the start of my alcohol recovery process: I could not risk complacency or I would be in danger of the ‘snarling dog’ waiting around the corner to bite me! After all, what was a couple of hours spent in a meeting compared to all the hours I’d wasted drinking and dealing with its consequences?

"CRI and SMART have now kept me abstinent for more than five months and given me a totally different outlook on life? These are some of the things I have learnt:

• That I have a better chance of happiness and getting what I want without drinking or using.
• That addiction is a choice
• That we can learn the basic cognitive tools in recovery to change our behaviour and with practice and self-discipline continue to use them.
• That if I abstain from drinking there are other things I can do, but if I drink there are things that I most likely won’t do.
• That we are not defined by our behaviour.
• That guilt is a negative emotion: we must accept that what has happened in the past cannot be changed, learn from it, strive for happiness in the present, and make realistic, achievable goals for the future.

"I have now completed my peer mentor training and been given a placement by CRI.

" I am thankful that I managed to survive the madness of intoxication relatively unscathed, and hence I may just possess some of the skills to help others achieve long term abstinence. This would not only give me great personal satisfaction but also help me enjoy my own continued sobriety . . . and long may it continue!

"I would like to conclude this snapshot of my journey with a simple quotation that I want to carry with me into my new vocation as a peer mentor with CRI, and beyond: 'Everyone can, not everyone will! Give everyone who can, every chance to!'"

* Name and photo has been changed to protect the identity of the service users who shared their stories with us.