Jaci's story

I’m a Families Counsellor specialising in supporting the family members of people with substance misuse problems. I started volunteering at Havering CRI to build up my professional experience, but I also really get a lot out of working with (often under-appreciated) family members.

I was inspired to get into this line of work because there were people supporting me when my ex-partner was using. Keeping the rest of the family going while the user was using was incredibly draining emotionally, and through sharing information at support groups I came to realise just how important it is for family members to have access to the right support.

When you love someone, seeing them suffering from the illness of addiction is heart-breaking, but all the practical stuff like work, school and caring for yourself and others, needs to continue and this often falls to family members. Counselling helps you to be there for them, but also to protect yourself.

Volunteering for CRI is especially rewarding because so many of the people I see don’t have the traditional support networks or coping mechanisms. Most of my clients live below the breadline in very deprived communities and they really don’t know who to turn to when they’re struggling.

One of my earliest cases was a mother who had five children and a series of boyfriends who invariably turned out to be alcoholics. The first session the mother turned up drunk and had to leave, but her mother stayed with one of her grandchildren, so we talked about what their experience had been like and how they hoped things could be better in the future.

I really didn’t think the grandmother would come back but she, her daughter, and her grandson were there the next week; and the one after that; and the one after that. I felt really proud, because three generations of a family now know that they have choices about what to do and how to live, and they also know that there’s someone here who cares.

I think that people do open up to me more, because I have personal experience of caring for someone with an addiction. They know there’s no judgement because I’ve been there and I can empathise.

I would absolutely recommend to anyone to volunteer for CRI. The difference with CRI is that the people you support often have nowhere else to go for care, support and advice, so you really can have a huge impact on their life. That’s an amazing feeling.